Wicked weed brewing omnipresence3/16/2023 ![]() ![]() The fact that this film got made is in itself quite amazing, the fact that it got released borders on the miraculous. Gillis had unleashed via the then-thriving direct-to-video market. In 1989, most of the world remained blissfully unaware of the cinematic monstrosity that Andrew Jordan and Barry J. Sometimes a film is just so ridiculously awesome that it blows your frigging mind. Sometimes a film waxes so philosophical that your comprehension falters and all that remains is series of abstract and confusing images, their true meaning just beyond the means of your feeble intellect. Sometimes a film beats you down and leaves you broken, whimpering in a corner, nothing but an empty shell of your former self. Sometimes a film makes you question everything you believe in, everything you thought you knew. Sometimes a film comes along and changes your life forever. (And for the record, the free DVDs did happen, after I left.peace Barry!) I feel privileged to have been a part of this event - now "Things" will have new layers of meaning every time I watch it, which I expect will be once or twice a year for the rest of my life. Fortunately the stars all suddenly went out for a smoke which gave us a chance to declare the evening officially over. Finally the guy - who had been moaning about the turnout intermittently all night - stood on the stairs and yelled something to the effect of, "I mean I don't HATE Stacey, he's gotta make a living." at which point the heretofore mesmerized audience came to the collective realization that they might actually never ever get out of there alive, so I did everyone a favour and started making strong ready-to-go gestures like standing up and putting on my backpack. Instead we got to watch three of these guys torture the camera in the corner for perhaps fifteen minutes while Stacey tried desperately to fill up the space. Unfortunately both were sidetracked when - AFTER the movie had been over for about ten minutes - they went to turn the camera on and couldn't get it to work. ![]() He repeatedly promised to give everyone an autographed DVD (with extras!!) and to interview people for a 'documentary' they were going to do about the movie. (It really really didn't.) After the movie he took to the stage and wouldn't let it go he talked so much no one could start the Q & A, and when the director gave it a shot he talked over HIM. When Trash Palace proprietor Stacey Case paused the tape for intermission Gillis insisted on telling everyone how much better it was about to get. He seemed to alternate between embarrassed, pre-emptive defensiveness and attempted good-natured embrace of the audience's howling contempt for their work - signified by him going "HEHHEH" very short and sharp and loud about every thirty seconds during the movie. Most of the crew showed up for this, the 19 1/2 anniversary screening - which they said was the first time they ever saw it with an audience! The director was a modest soft-spoken guy, but the co-writer/'star' was very stoned and just could not shut up. They must have bought a lot of beer! But the real show was the guys themselves. You can not believe that this thing cost two months and $30,000 to make. ![]() Dialogue includes "Next time we go somewhere together I'm leaving you at home!" and "Does a toilet flush during a blackout?" Star Ray TV's legendary Jan Pachul shows up as some kind of 'mad scientist' and trumps everyone with his skeezing hyperbolic delivery even though he's basically playing the same mullet-headed boob as all the others. There is one scene where a guy silently waves a flashlight around a bathroom for ten full minutes. They are occasionally interrupted by an inert papier-mache ant with fangs - it doesn't seem to bother anyone too much that it ate its way out of one of the guys' wife's stomach - and 'newscasts' of moonlighting pornstar Amber Lynn reading cue cards WAY off to the side somewhere. ![]() It is mostly shot on Super 8 and basically involves some hosers drinking beer and wandering around the house. In case you didn't hear Things is the most hilariously incompetent and berserk movie ever made in Canada (NOT the worst though - that honor goes to 'Caged Terror' - competence isn't everything) and possibly the universe. OK it's late and I don't have the energy to do it justice, but I am committed to telling the world about the 'Things' screening in Toronto this past Saturday. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |